If he’s still keeping her photos and personal belongings, this could be a sign that he hasn’t fully moved on. Try asking him to donate or give them back to her.
It’s also a good idea to pay attention to his behavior when she’s around. If he acts nervous or uncomfortable when she’s in his presence, that may be a red flag.
1. He’s still talking about her
If he still talks about his ex frequently, that is a bad sign. If he idealizes her or seems to miss her all the time, that’s even worse. If he also mentions how he’d change the past if he could, that’s a clear indication that he’s not over her.
If he clams up or gets defensive when you bring her up, that is also an alarming sign. He should be able to talk about her without feeling strong emotional reactions. He should not be hiding her from you. If he is not over her, he will always prioritize her over you. If he constantly skips events with you to hang out with her, that is a problem. He needs to make you his priority if you’re going to be his girlfriend.
2. He’s comparing you to her
A little bit of reminiscing about past relationships is okay, but if he’s constantly comparing you to her and brings her up in emotionally-charged conversations (like during sex or an argument) it could be a big red flag.
It’s also important to note if he’s always putting her up on a pedestal and comparing you to her, because that’s not fair to either of you. It will damage your self-esteem and make you feel insecure about things that aren’t necessarily true.
Another way to tell if he’s still hanging onto his ex is to see if he has any of her belongings lying around, like photos or personal items. This is a clear indication that he’s not over her and might be using you as a rebound relationship.
3. He’s still stalking her on social media
When he is not over his ex, he will likely stalk her on social media to make sure she’s still happy and being taken care of. This is a major red flag that he is not over her and may still want to get back together.
This will be clear if he constantly views her Instagram and Facebook stories. No self-respecting person would continue to view their ex’s story five minutes after they have posted it, unless they are sending a message that they are not over her.
Another good sign that he is not stalking his ex is if he doesn’t have any photos or mementos of her around his house. He will also be able to talk about her in an objective way and not get too emotional or sound regretful.
4. He’s still talking about their past
Sometimes it’s not a huge deal if he talks about his ex, and it doesn’t always mean that he still loves her. However, if he mentions her often and goes into details about her, it can be a red flag.
For example, if he says things like “I miss her so much”, it could be a sign that he is still in love with her. Also, if he keeps her number in his phone under pet names or swear words, it’s definitely a big warning sign.
Another big red flag is when he starts comparing you to her. This can be anything from how you look, to the way you act or even just memories that he has of her. No one wants to be compared to their ex.
5. He’s still hung up on her
He constantly talks about her or keeps bringing her into conversations. This is a big red flag that he’s not over her.
He stalks her on social media or checks in with mutual friends to see how she’s doing. An ex is an ex for a reason – they should stay in the past and not be a major presence in his new relationship.
He clams up or gets defensive if you bring her up in conversation. This is a sign that he’s still hung up on her and doesn’t want you to know it. He may not be consciously doing this but it’s still a big sign that he hasn’t moved on. It’s not fair to you or her. You deserve someone who’s fully focused on you.