Dirty talk is an essential element to awesome phone sex, but it can be intimidating for newcomers. There’s a lot of ground to cover, from moans and groans to whispering and screaming.
It’s also a good idea to check in with your partner (outside of the bedroom) about any trigger words that they would prefer you not use during sex play, explains Lowrie.
Whisper it
Dirty talk ignites the imagination, supercharges sexual polarity and adds an air of liberation to naked shenanigans. It is an incredibly powerful part of eroticism and many couples don’t even know it exists. Whether you are into it or not, it is an essential element of connecting with your lover.
However, many people are afraid to talk dirty and freeze up at the idea. This is usually due to a paralyzing feeling of risk and it can be caused by a number of things including sexually repressed culture or religion, or simply being brought up to think that talking about anything sexual is taboo.
Luckily, there are plenty of sites online where you can get the conversation started without worrying about anyone finding out. Most of these chats are private and you can use them on web or mobile — and best of all, they don’t require registration at all!
Make it feel natural
Talking dirty feels awkward if you don’t have much experience with it. Sex is basically just two naked bodies rubbing together, so naturally, talking about it can sound a bit silly and embarrassing.
You can practice sexy talk by talking about your fantasies, giving your partner little hints about what you like, or even trying roleplay with your boo. Practicing these things in the privacy of your own home before you bring it up with your partner will help you to feel more comfortable about throwing around some erotic phrases in public.
Depending on the individual, it can also be good to start off talking dirty over text before you try face to face. Sexual texting (or sexting) offers a more relaxed environment and allows you to take your time before you respond. Just remember to check in with your partner to make sure they enjoy this type of communication. You don’t want to turn them off by accidentally fucking up their positive image of you.
Keep it short
Talking dirty can be a fun and intimate way to add spice to your lovemaking. However, you can’t just throw out naughty words whenever you feel like it; they have to fit in with the flow of your conversation.
For example, you don’t want to talk about work or your Aunt Sally’s dinner when you could be talking about how long your partner’s member is or how voluptuous their breasts are. And of course, if they say they don’t like being called a whore during any of their lovemaking, that needs to be respected.
If you get stuck for ideas, there are lots of lists of sexy phrases to use and erotic literature is a goldmine (who knew there were so many euphemisms for penis?). If you don’t feel comfortable going all out, you can always revert back to foreplay, narrating what you are doing to your lover or just describe how they make you feel.
Don’t be afraid to change your mind
Many people who aren’t into vanilla romantic relationships love the idea of having sexy, dirty conversations. Luckily, it’s possible to do so without putting your relationship in danger. It’s just a matter of finding the right sexy chat rooms. There are several websites dedicated to this type of talk, and you can find a lot of adult fun on them!
In fact, one study found that people are most turned on by their partner’s ability to arouse them through their imagination with descriptions of sexy sensations. That’s why erotic books like 50 Shades of Grey are so popular with women and pornography is so much more prevalent among men.
However, you shouldn’t start using these kinds of words until you’ve gotten a feel for what your significant other wants. It’s a good idea to ask them about their favorite turns on and turn offs before you get too crazy with your language. After all, it’s all just a way to connect with your partner.